


Rewrite the stars

by SparrowPixie



Category: The Daevabad Trilogy - S. A. Chakraborty
Genre: Angst, City of brass spoiler, Danarhi, F/M, Pining, Regret, dream - Freeform, why do I do this to myself?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:15:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28013037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparrowPixie/pseuds/SparrowPixie
Summary: Dara dreams of Nahri and second chances
Relationships: Darayavahoush e-Afshin/Nahri e-Nahid
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Rewrite the stars

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely inspired by the song Rewrite the Stars

This had not been part of the plan.

Dara paced Nahri’s quarters, impatiently waiting for her to return from tending to the Qahtani brat.

Little Zaydi had interrupted them in the middle of a very heated conversation. One Dara was still trying to puzzle out. Why had she rejected his plan? What did she have against running away with him? She had proposed to him in the Grand Temple, hadn’t she? So what made him such an unappealing option now.

Could it be she truly wanted to remain here? In Daevabad? How did he fit into that picture? Did he deserve to fit?

Smoke curled from his collar and Dara paused mid-step as the door to her quarters opened. She slipped inside with a murmured word of goodnight to who he assumed was Ali, and shut the door, latching it.

The wry expression on her face hardened and she stormed over to him with all the haughtiness of a Royal Nahid. 

“You. Sit,” Nahri said pointing to her bed.

Dara sighed, there was really no time to lose, but fine. Before stealing her into the night the least he could do was listen. He crossed to her bed and took a seat on the edge. She stood before him, hands on her hips and an unreadable expression on her face. Dara’s brows furrowed. This was not going as he had planned. He’d hoped for a wicked smile and sigh of relief, her arms around his neck as they ran into night.

“Nahri, I do not understand why you are suddenly so attached to Daevabad-“

“I told you I wanted to be with you. You rejected me. So now I’m supposed to run away with you?” Nahri hedged. 

Dara swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry. This wasn’t about being together. Running away was about keeping her safe. Giving her a better future.

Right?

“Dara, when you’re a con artist, you have to  _ know  _ people. You have to be able to read them. Maybe you think you’re above my abilities, but you aren’t.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he snapped, a bit angrier than he’d meant.

He expected her to hurl an insult his way. Maybe swat at him. Something. But instead her inscrutable expression became wistful. She twisted her fingers nervously and exhaled sharply, finally bringing her flickering, dark eyes to meet his.

“You can’t fool me. I know you want to be with me too, Dara.”

His breath was stolen. Yes, he knew that. Yes, she knew that. He’d all but spelled it out in the Grand Temple. But to hear her say it aloud here and now before him was something else entirely. It was jarring and frightening and exhilarating. He wanted more of this sensation. 

_ No. _

Dara steeled himself. “It’s-it’s not about what I want, Nahri.”

“What is it about then? You can’t have it both ways, Afshin. You can’t proclaim that there’s nothing to be done since you’re not alive but then demand I escape into the night sky with you,” she scoffed.

Dara felt himself blush. The furrowing of her brows, the hesitant parting of her lips, the hunched line of her shoulders. She’d placed her heart in his hands and all he could do was stare at her. All manner of reason gone.

“We could stay. Build a life  _ here.”  _ She sat beside him, taking his hands gingerly. “We could be together in secret. Steal kisses in the shadows. You could share my bed in the evenings. There is so much that we haven’t tried, Dara. What if we did?”

He could imagine it, their clandestine, forbidden romance. Sneaking into the city at nightfall as two nameless faces. Tugging her into a darkened corridor and pressing his lips to hers. Slipping in her window and climbing into bed with her every night. 

All the while their hearts racing at the thrill of defying the stars for their own piece of the heavens.

But no. It was not so easy. It was not that simple. His history was too heavy. His hands too bloody.

“Nahri,” he said, the former fervor in his voice now simmering, “what you are suggesting is reckless. It’s… unrealistic.”

“Unrealistic?” she repeated with a mirthless smile.

Dara’s temper flared briefly, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he spoke again. His voice was tired. “It’s not that simple. Were it so easy for us to remain here together I would. But Nahri, there is so much we are going against. I think that you… that you have been fooled,” he sighed. “You believe that since it is so easy to be together in the palace that this extends to all of Daevabad. But that is not so. There is no place for me in this city. Not yet. Perhaps not ever.”

Her dark eyes became sad, but her lips were pressed into a hard line. Dara’s heart sank. So resilient. So stubborn. So determined to have him of all people. A dead man with no dowry, only life debts.

“We cannot build a life here, Nahri. Not together. It is too dangerous.”

He saw her eyes glisten with tears, she bit down hard on her lip, fingers squeezing his tighter. 

She sniffed, composing herself. “We could be together if you’d allow it. You’re the only thing standing in our way.”

Maybe it was the way she was brimming with tears. Maybe it was the quivering in her voice. Maybe it was the way her breathing hitched despite her hard and determined stare. He couldn’t say. But Dara was hit with the overwhelming urge to say the words.

His hand cupped her cheek. “It is what I want also, little thief. More than anything else.”

She placed her fingers over his, her dark eyes pleading. “So do it. Say you will.”

“Nahri...”

_ No. No. No. Do not, Afshin… _

A shuddering sigh. “Nahri, that’s just not possible.”

“It is,” she said, her voice fierce with conviction. “It is if you want it to be.”

“Nahri, I want it to be!” he burst. “That’s not the problem.”

“The problem is that you aren’t even willing to try for us because of some misguided insistence that your sadness will make you worthy of forgiveness!”

“That’s not it.”

“You aren’t allowing yourself to be happy because you feel you don’t deserve it.”

“I don’t!”

“And what about  _ me _ ?”

Her words stung him. For a moment he almost felt dizzy with regret.

She  _ did  _ deserve happiness and he had never considered himself someone who would be responsible for that. Not for her, not for anyone. Not anymore.

He’d seen her look like this only one other time. The time when he told her he was leaving to hunt the ifrit with the emir. Angry and hurt and teetering on the edge of breaking down. He’d taken her face in his hands and had made her a promise. That she was his Banu Nahida and this was his city. That nothing would keep them apart. 

Yet here he was. Denying her. Asking her to flee this place. He was not holding up his end of the bargain.

_ It may not make her happy, but it is for her own good. _

Dara exhaled, gathering the courage to tell her no again. “Nahri-“

Her hand lifted, fingers threading in his hair. She tugged his face to hers and placed a fervent kiss on his lips. When she pulled away, she let her forehead rest against his.

“I won’t go with you, Afshin. Please stay,” she said softly. “ _ Please. _ ”

Dara shut his eyes feeling his stomach sink. He swallowed the lump in his throat and gently took her hand, unweaving her fingers from his hair and pressing them to his lips briefly. 

Tears stung his eyes, it took great strength to keep them from falling at the anger and disappointment on Nahri’s face.

He dropped her hand, letting it fall limply to her lap. “No.”

To his surprise, Nahri’s heartbroken expression faded and was instead replaced with something mildly forlorn. Dara’s brows furrowed in confusion. 

She shook her head. “Even when given a second chance you make the wrong decision.”

“A… a second chance?” Dara asked. 

Nahri nodded. “This is twice you’ve refused me. Yet you tell yourself constantly that you wish you would have done things differently.” 

“Nahri,” Dara said, the tears finally spilling over. “Nahri, I’m sorry.”

“I know,” she smirked. “You’re always sorry. Sorry when you forgot your manners and abandoned me in the wilderness. Sorry when you left me to hunt the ifrit. Sorry when you thought you killed Ali. Sorry for trying to steal me away tonight.” She took his hand again with a grimace. “Sorrier still when you couldn’t get back through the veil.”

He yanked away from her, stumbling to his feet. 

That was right. He was gone. He wasn’t in Daevabad any longer. He’d been killed. He’d been brought back as something monstrous. Every night he fell asleep he thought of how he could’ve stayed by her side. He should have listened to Nahri. He should have damned duty to the Nahids and pledged his duty to Nahri instead. So how was she here right now? How did she know about his regrets? How did she know about what she hadn’t  _ seen _ ?

“How… how do you know about that?”

“Even in a  _ dream  _ you won’t say yes to me?” Nahri asked with a sheepish smile.

A dream? This had been a dream? Or was it a test? A test from the Creator? 

But it felt so real. And his heart hurt so badly. And the tears were fresh.

He felt a pang of sadness at the realization. None of this was real. He should have known that for all his second chances, none would be an opportunity to repair something he truly wanted to fix. He was not so fortunate. He did not deserve such kindness judging by this dream where he had repeated the same mistakes.

_ Then perhaps you are not meant to be with her. _

It didn’t feel right to think such a thing. His love for her ran too deep, too strong. But did love mean anything when it came from a monster?

Dara twisted his ring on his finger. “Then it doesn’t matter,” he said softly. “I cannot have you.”

He shut his eyes tight, willing himself awake. 

When his eyes opened he was staring at the ceiling of his tent. Still in Manizeh’s camp. Still a living, breathing nightmare. 

He touched his face to try and wipe away the tears, but was met by sticky trails from where they’d evaporated from the heat of his skin. Another reminder of the monster he’d been made into.

This had not been a part of the plan.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry that this isn’t my usual happy sappy


End file.
